If U Seek Amy
Picking my brain, so you don't have to.
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My Sexual User's Guide v. 1.0
Posted:Jun 28, 2018 11:27 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2018 11:55 am

PHILOSOPHY To be honest, I still struggle with sexual trauma of my past, but as I get older, I'm embracing that I'm a sexual being deserving of pleasure and wanting to give pleasure. Sex is natural, nudity is natural and our bodies- what they can and can't do aren't anything to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with what your desires are. Sex isn't a weapon to be used to coerce or harm anyone emotionally, physically, or psychologically. Sex should be a consensual act between adults of legal age. There should be no pressure to have sex if a person isn't ready. I believe that people shouldn't be punished for consenting, and then changing their minds later on; their decision should be respected. I believe that the government should fuck off when it comes to what two or more consenting adults do in their bedroom. I believe women should have more sexual freedom, and that their bodies aren't objects or ornaments. I believe that not all men oversexed, and that some do want to have sex when they feel ready. Just like I dont believe that all women are demure and have a low sex drive.

I'm straight, boo. Because I dislike how men tend to treat women and I'm very vocal about that doesn't mean I'm going to switch teams. Now what type of man, the less touched by toxic masculine stereotypes the better.


*A no pressure daytime meet in public, i.e the mall, starbucks (or a better coffee spot) or over lunch.

*I don't have a car, so I prefer being picked up. If you don't have a car, I can make it by uber, but this would have to be at the top of the month.

*To host at my place, since I feel safer and have the home advantage. Right now I live with family with a religious mom and two small children (not mines), so if you can pop for a room, that's fine. If you can host at your place, even better.

*To have conversation, a massage or cuddle; I have anxiety disorder and before sex is when I'm the most nervous. Even if I'm into the guy, I need reassurance and it's nothing personal against the guy.

*Proper hygiene, a clean space and clean clothes. I always shower, brush my teeth, etc, and trim my pubic hair (unless I'm lazy) and clean my area before meeting someone, and I expect the same.

*To have antibacterial wipes or hand sanitizer on hand, and to not use spit as lube since I'm prone to yeast infections and BV. Not a neat freak, just careful when it comes to germs and sexual contact.

*If we haven't agreed ahead of time that it's a casual but "monogamous" thing with both of us having been tested recently- I HIGHLY prefer using condoms. I have an IUD, but the nature of the device won't allow me catching STI.

*To have a slightly warm-ish room, because I feel I perform better when I'm not cool or freezing.

*To have water or gatorade and snacks on hand. Because you work up and appetite and you sweat, duh. Also because no one can perform on an empty stomach, and I also get low blood sugar.

*To at least go more than one round and have more than one orgasm, if possible. Of course there's schedules to consider, but in general I don't normally care for just one go around. Even if it's just helping me while I get my ownself off.

*To please each other equally; I don't do selfish lovers or "pillow princess" shit. I give back as good as he gives me. If you can't, don't expect to see me again.

*To use toys and sexual aids (like lube for example) to enhance the experience, and not to be shamed or embarrassed or denied using toys and aids. (some guys have tried to get me off by sheer will, but I do need outside stimulation that's more than just vaginal penetration and mindless thrusting)

*Boundaries and consent, and to discuss anything we'd like to do before entering into a sexual relationship. Not forced to do anything I don't want to, and the guy to have the same expectation.

TURN ONS (physical)
Toned shoulders
Graceful necks
Brunettes - not dirty blonde, or plain brown hair but rich and dark brown, dark auburn
"Salt & pepper" brunettes
Bald guys with groomed beards
Groomed beards and stubble
Full lips or well-shaped mouths
Freckles and moles
Pale, but not transclusent skin
Curly or wavy hair
Thick and groomed eyebrows
Husky/thick built men, i.e "big handsome men", "dad bods", pre-Marvel Chris Pratt, "teddy bears"
Swimmer's build, i.e tall, lean and athletic or short, athletic and lean
Bubble butts
Toned calves and thighs
Scars (depending on the guy and where the scars are located)
Adonis belts
**keep in mind, any of these in combination and not all are set in stone

TURN ONS (sexual)

Grunts, long and vulnerable moaning, groans
Uncut cock
Hangy ballsacks
Guys who pre cum
Grinding against my backside or crotch during foreplay
Ear play: heavy breathing, licking, lightly stroking, lobe nibbling
"Begging" to be inside me
Breast and nipple play: licking, nibbling, pinching, kneading, groping, sucking, etc
Nipple play and making out
Displays of strength (if at all possible): picked up and carried, yanked towards him, being pinned down during sex

Negging, begging, any form of manipulation
R*** fantasies
Scat, blood, spit
Incest fantasies
Bad hygiene (unkempt hair and or facial hair, long nails, dirty clothes, BO, untrimmed or unshaved pubes, stank breath)
Lying about important things, i.e having a partner, having children
Disregard for sexual health, i.e not using condoms
Sexually aggressive from the jump
Being called "sweetie" or any term of endearment without knowing me
For White guys, asking me "If I ever been with a white guy" or basically implying that your interest in me is for bucket list purposes


Ass play: rimming, fingering, groping, biting
Bulges, hard-ons, dick prints and outlines
Oil play - coconut oil/baby oil/lubed handjobs
Spanking - ass and breasts
Sensory stimulation: fabrics across the nipples and clit for example, aural stimulation: distinctive voices, being vocal
Parked car sex
Passive exhibitionism
Hands and finger worship (if he has nice hands)
Biting: wrists, upper back, butt, collar bone

Favorite positions
Doggy style, cowgirl, missionary, spooning position, belly down w/ guy on top
My nails down your back..
Posted:Jul 20, 2018 11:35 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2018 11:35 pm

Another lonely night for us both, but suddenly out of nowhere I round the corner holding a glass of wine. You don't know how I got there or how I got the wine, you're just shocked that here. I take a generous swig, and I motion you to come to me not before I tell you to take your shirt off. You comply and your skin is so hot and flushed, I press your body into mines sinking my teeth into your collarbone, and then I gently rake my nails down your back.

It's slow and deliciously delicate. Down to your tailbone and up to your shoulders and back down again, and up...and back down. Your shuddering breath and faint moans make goosebumps on my own skin. This time, my nails go even further and I end up grabbing your ass and pressing you into me. I can feel your cock rock hard and struggling against your shorts. We search for each other's mouths to end up devouring each other-- softness sliding against softness, urgent tongues probing..

I step back to briefly my shirt off so you can grasp my pillowy, large pendulous breasts. You knead and gently let them flop and bring into kiss once more, with broken gasps when your thumbs spring my unbelievablely rigid nipples back and forth. Now you gasp because I work your cock with my hand down your shorts....

Fed up with the teasing and torture, you have lay on the couch with you betwixt my thighs teasing now with your erecting while my nails rake down your back even more...

How it ends up is your imagination, and I'll leave you alone with that 😊
12 Crazy Amazing Facts About the Clitoris
Posted:Jul 20, 2018 9:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2018 11:58 pm

An article, (not mines of course) since I haven't been in the mood to write anything emotionally or intellectually intensive, so...enjoy!

1. If you want to address the clitoris, labia and vagina together, vulva is the all-encompassing term.

2. Fifty to 75 percent of women who have climaxes (orgasms) need to have their clitoris touched (clitoral stimulation). Most women are unable to have an orgasm through intercourse alone.

3. The clitoris is only partially visible to the naked eye. The clitoris is actually close to four inches in length (kinda like the average non-erect penis), but three-fourths of it is hidden from view within a female’s body. It’s buried treasure. Think of all that pleasure potential in the entire region. Have you explored it?

4. The clitoris grows throughout a woman’s life. After menopause, the clitoris can become 2.5 times larger than it was when the same woman was a . I don’t think that there has been an actually study about clitoris size in relation to pleasure. And I don’t think that women have a size thing about their clitoris, the way men do around penis size. I have never ever met a woman who has measured her clitoris, but I have met men who have measured their penis.

5. The clitoris contains 8,000 deliciously sensitive nerve endings, double the nerve endings in the glans of a penis. Sorry, guys.

6. Most of us don’t know that all babies have the exact same genital tissue when they are conceived. At about 12 weeks, each baby’s genitalia begin to differentiate into a penis or labia. We are more alike than we are different. The clitoris and penis are the same materials assembled in a different way. The clitoris has glans, a foreskin (also known as the hood), erectile tissue and a very small shaft — all the parts that a penis has. It even swells when it’s aroused.

7. Back to being an “inny” and an “outy” — as I already stated, only one quarter of the clitoris is visible. The rest of it is inside the women’s body. Besides the clitoris being made up the clitoral head, the hood and the clitoral shaft, it is also composed of the urethral sponge, erectile tissue, glands, vestibular bulbs and the clitoral legs. Only the clitoral head and the hood are located outside the body. Some sex experts believe that the G Spot is actually a part of the clitoris. (oh thank gods, can be stop about the G-spot already?!)

8. The clitoris is designed to bring a woman pleasure. That is its sole purpose. Not reproduction. (explains all the FGM bullshit in more theocratic aka backwards societies)

9. Yes, there are all kinds of orgasms. Vaginal, Cervical and G Spot Orgasms do exist, but they are much harder for most women to achieve than a clitoral orgasm. Very few women are able to achieve an orgasm without any kind of clitoral involvement. There is nothing immature about women having orgasms through their clitoris. Sorry, Dr. Sigmund Freud.

10. The clitoris varies in size and shape on different women. Some are hidden under the hood, and some stick out. Some like to be touched softly and others like a lot of pressure. It takes time to get to know a woman’s clitoris. Don’t assume that you know what it likes. Take your time and get to know each unique clitoris, just like you would take the time to get to know the woman it is attached to.

11. People have all kinds of nicknames for the clitoris. You may have heard “man in canoe,” “rosebud,” “joy buzzzer,” “cherry pit,” “love button,” or “bald man in a boat,” just to name a few. I have also heard chick pea and lentils. Anyone have a chip?

12. A clitoral orgasm can bring about anywhere between three and 16 contractions and can last from 10 to 30 seconds. But that doesn’t exclude the fact that many women have multiple orgasms that can include pelvic contractions. Some sex educators have compared and contrasted male and female orgasm and have concluded that even the most average clitoral orgasm lasts longer than even the best ever most fantastic male orgasm. Once again, kinda bad news for the men. Woman have more nerve endings in our clitoris.

Source: Pamela Madsen, Huffington Post
My Who's Viewed Me stats
Posted:Jul 19, 2018 8:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2018 8:31 pm

So, since I was so bored I wanted to peel my face off, I decided to look on the first page of my Whos Viewed Me list and do some stats. Now, I'm not a mathematician or statician- so these might be crude figures. However, I do like looking at data and stats and coming to my own conclusions with them. It's interesting to me, because I'm not interesting

So awaaaayyyyy we gooo!

So when it comes to Marital Status:

Single: 41%

Divorced: 12%

Married: !2%

Attached: 6%

Omitted or "Prefer Not to Say": 13%

Widower: 1%

Separated: 1%

Now I'm aware that if I added omitted to "married" or "attached", those figures would probably be more, because everyone on Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals lies.

When it comes to Race:

Caucasian: 54%

Black: 13%

Latino: 6%

Mixed race/other: 4%

Omitted/"Prefer Not to Say": 11%

Surprise, surprise! White men win the day! So, I'm not sure why you're pissy about oversaturation of minorities. I didn't have Asian or Middle Eastern, because there weren't any frequent visitors to my profile that were. Again, if I were to add the omitteds or PNTS to the others, the stats would be higher of course.

When it comes to Region

North: 11%

South: 71% !!!!

East: nada

West: 8%

Outside the U.S: 4%

I know I could've made it more complex and went with NE, NW, SE, etc but ain't nobody got time for that. The South doesn't surprise me at all- because if you're in that region, you're going to look for people in that region.

WHen it comes to Age:

"Teens" (18 and 19): nada

20+ : 6%

30+ : 20%

40+ : 21%

50+ : 21%

60+ : 22%

70+ 5%

Seems like the demographic thins out in the teens, 20+ and 70+ crowd. So I figure your best bet is to scour the 30s to 60s age range if you even want to have a chance of hope.

When it comes to Sexual Orientation:

Straight: 41%

Bisexual: 2%

Bi-curious: 4%

Omitted/"Prefer Not to Say" : 2%

No surprise there with mostly straight men, but I also know there's a TON of closet cases around here, but again no way to really tell, or else my numbers would go up. I will say that it's also no surprise that there's more bi-curious men than actual bisexual men who are publicly out.

In conclusion: It's mostly straight, White, single men either based in the South or visiting that area who are between 30 and 60 that visit my profile. No offense, but WOW all that vanilla...so much vanilla...
WTF?! I ain't married!
Posted:Jul 18, 2018 3:56 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2018 6:48 pm

I know a lot of people cheating on the DL say that they aren't either. But honestly I'm not. It seems as if Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals and their notorious glitches are at it again, because I decided to browse the mobile version of my profile, and sure enough: married. It would explain why all I get are "couples" aka married men with disinterested wives that are confused when they are told off by me. Also explains the uptick in hotlists, flirts and friends adds by thirsty single men who have zero self respect or integrity.

Again, I AIN'T MARRIED. I'd like to think that if I were, I'd be happily and not browsing here, but since this is the real world - I'd like to think that my spouse and I are married but ethically and functionally non monogamous. That, and if I were I'd say I'd were. I'm not dishonest with people like some people can be on here.

Ugh, I don't even see a way to edit this bullshit. I do but it's not working. Because Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals.
Bodily correlations
Posted:Jul 18, 2018 1:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2018 2:58 pm

Bodies are a funny thing, especially mines..I mean, funny looking. Mines is funny looking. Anyway ever notice an interesting correlation when it comes to them? So I was looking at my boob, and by looking at, I mean playing with them. I noticed that I have small nipples for a boob so big. I've notice that most but not all women who have smaller tits, they have big nipples. I also noticed with most, but not all women - it seems as if they have wide hips, their breasts aren't as big. And with some women, they have very large breasts, but smaller hips. I personally hate it, but some women can rock the apple shape successfully.

With men, it's rare that large appendages like hands and feet equal generous endowment. With skinnier/ petite built men, it's a crap shoot; ex was my height: 5' 7" and 140lbs but hung like 9" or so. 😏

Have you fit to those correlations?
Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals in similie(s)
Posted:Jul 18, 2018 11:21 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2018 3:29 pm

Being on Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals is like being hungry, going to the fridge which is full of food, and not being appetized by any of it.

Telling some guys you're not interested on Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals is like telling my two year old nephew he can't have a certain thing. And he drops to the floor dramatically whining and crying. Turns out there's women like his mother who will indulge that behavior. Then there's women like me who won't.

Some men on Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals are like my nephew who is in the middle of potty training; when he makes a pee or poop, we celebrate it. This is fine for a baby. Not for grown-ass men who post a dick pic in your inbox, when you explicitly state that you don't want that. I'm not praising you for that. You have something billions of other men have also. You're special how?

On the other hand, people especially some women who complain about nudity on a place like Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals is like going to a KFC and complaining about the abundance of chicken on the menu.

Bi fem/straight male couples who seek out straight single women are like those kiosks in the mall with salesmen who basically harass you to buy a product you're not even remotely interested in. Unfortunately on this site, you can't hurry past with eyes forward to avoid them.

Meeting people from Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals who end up misrepresenting themselves is like thinking you ordered a legit go pro on Amazon, and you're sent a dollar store camera with a velcro strap hot glued on.

Any more to add?
Sexual love light..
Posted:Jul 17, 2018 11:03 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2018 11:12 pm

Art by alphachanneling on IG check them out, amazing pictures.

Did I ever tell you the why behind the multiple orgasms I had while high with my ex? If you don't know me, when I'm with a guy, I can only fire off one big one and a few small quakes. With my ex, he unlocked something inside of me. Something in the way of what unconditional romantic love could be. The security of it. With some one that has always been used to fucking for desire, fucking someone you're over the moon for is heaven.

He whispered to me that he loved me and that he was glad to be with me and other things.

Anyone ever seen The Fifth Element? The scene where they're almost close to being human paste, if it weren't for Korbin telling Leeloo he loved her? That. He tells her that he loves her and needs her to which she sheds tears of happiness. They kiss and like, this supersonic burst of light beams out of her mouth bringing to a halt this sentient evil comet or planet that was hurtling towards them in a few short minutes.

I didn't beam a powerful ray of pure love from my cooch, but I was overwhelmed by the relief, happiness, weed and arousal that I came, and came, and came, etc. The next morning, I was sore as hell.

Folks, sexual energy is REALLY REAL, of course, but sexual energy unlocked by love is powerful shit. I believe that sex from someone secure and unconditional, that I loved and was attracted to and vice versa could take me to a plane of existence that would make me shed my weighty earthly corporeal self becoming an orb of blindingly radiant light. My love would feed from that, and his heart would sprout petals that grew and spread out into the atmosphere. We'd be in our bubble of ecstatic bliss, symbiotic, our kissing, pressed flesh and his cock deep inside me. We reach that point of climax, and yet we still keep going climbing higher and higher still. Our moans are echoing like delayed feedback. The vibrations in the air appear like lightning bugs on a dark night...we're swimming in the stars. We're swimming in love...

I feel like there's only one man who could make me feel like that, but we're star-crossed as fuck. Also 3,000 mi away. 😑😒
Do you even cuddle, bro?
Posted:Jul 17, 2018 9:57 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2018 5:02 pm

How does everyone feel about cuddling, snuggling and the like? I ask because I wonder does asking for a FWB to do it means it's escalating something (and you know that I don't believe in that shit)? I personally don't overthink that it means something, I just do it. I can't speak for everyone, and I know that not everyone shares the same philosophy towards life and affection as I might. Some guys or gals think that cuddling will magically make them fall in love, then comes the exclusive talk, and you can't hang out with your friends because you're stuck with me making free cupcakes and watching the goddamned Notebook for the twentieth time this week.

First off: FUCK The Notebook, and movies like that.

Secondly: If I am to veg out with a guy, junk food and gratuitously violent action or horror films, and /or stoner bro comedies thank you very much.

Anyway, it's not weird or indicative of any motivation to tie you down...because I prefer wrist restraints *ba dum tishh * I don't think it says that I want a serious or exclusive relationship with someone if I express my interest in being affectionate with them. Even if people do catch feelings, who the fuck cares? Honestly. Unless you stepping out on your spouse without their permission...

I just like to feel someone next to me, because it's a security thing. a fidgety, clinically anxious individual who needs to be relaxed in order to perform. What's so wrong with that? Before and after? A girl just likes to be held, damn...
420 and sex: What's your experience?
Posted:Jul 16, 2018 9:13 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2018 5:01 pm

We cant say the p-word here, since for a sex site, Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals has a stick up it's butt when it comes to drug-related words. Anyway, high so bear with LOL. and mom sat out and smoked for her pain, and mines to be honest, well...my personal pain lately.

So again, hi, high and I decided to bug "Darrell" and tell him all about the wonders of being high and having sex while high. Depending on the strain it can be slow, silky, languid or hyper with rainbows shooting out of a unicorn's ass. Or a mix of both: the hyper and then the slow and silky. In this case, smoking this unknown strain and the last time I smoked it without my anxiety meds interfering....the feeling, ah.

Your body feels like you've been licked by the tongue of an enchanted dragon made of stardust, and when he licks, there's a sensuous electricity from it. Sitting here now, thinking about it makes me wet. Desire oozes down from my stomach flowing and flooding like honey and it's a high sweetness and tingle. My nipples could probably have their own orgasms, they're so sensitive. Time slows, and you and your partner are melting together, like that Dali painting with the clocks.

I know I've said this, but with my Ex, we got very high and I was so amped that he maybe pumped once or twice and I started cumming over and over and over...infinity symbol. My body finally tapped out at 8 or 9, and the next day my tummy felt like I did 100 crunches. It was astounding. When I smoked with "Josh" and fucked him, I literally could've rode his dick forever. The sensation felt limitless.

I want to do it again with Vegan Guy since he's told me he's fond of the devil's lettuce; he doesn't smoke, he'd rather have gummies. The sex is already damn good...just imagine if we got high and did it? Lol, I've been scouring the internet for a recipe to make the perfect gummy without animal product! He told me when he had sex on it, it lasted 3hrs. Sheeeitt! Guess it's time for MORE searching

Since he's not here now, guess I'll be taking care of myself. If I don't pass out first...
Un-bonding the fluid bonding
Posted:Jul 16, 2018 1:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2018 11:54 pm

Now before I begin, this is just an opinion, and something that I'm unpacking and reexamining. I DON'T in any way condone or advocate the practices of unprotected sex unless it's with a trusted fully vetted partner or partners.

Now, what is "fluid bonding" exactly?

Couples who choose to stop practicing safer sex with each other are sometimes said to be fluid bonded. This is because they share bodily fluids with each other. Some monogamous couples believe that fluid bonding is a way to enhance intimacy.

And to some, within the bounds of monogamy or hierarchical polyamrous relationships is kind of a big deal, but lately I've been thinking, what if it isn't?

Since exploring this "relationship anarchy", it's gotten me to thinking. Especially in the light of "Josh" and I. We had unprotected sex after months of using protection. If he'd of had his way, we'd of had it the second time we met. Despite his marriage being open, there was hierarchy. And, we subverted that hierarchy. I won't say we did it in the most wholesome or honest way, either. If it seems like I omitted details, I did because if you want to know, come to me in private.

The point was that he knew me enough and trusted me enough that we did. Yeah, I wasn't his wife; but if we're going totally RA with it, obviously in his subconscious, he put me up there with her, as it was implied that it was an exclusive act for them. A couple's privilege if you will. I don't believe in it. If you willingly bring a third party into your marriage or partnership, there has to be some equal standing and open communication so the third party doesn't feel left out, to let them still have some dignity, especially if it's romantic and sexual intimacy. You also don't have the right to police an individual and what they do with other individuals.

I feel that barring disease, risk of pregnancy and deception, I don't think it's a big deal whom you reserve your "fluid bonding" for. Because I fucked a few guys who ranged from boyfriends, to FWBs, to one night stands (not by choice). I used to feel bad, because obviously I was supposed to save it for THAT special guy. What if I don't have one, or at this point in my life, want one exclusively? I'll do it with men that I obviously care about and have known for quite some time and trust to know that wasn't their objective from the start, or once they got theirs they vanish. *cough cough HAAAACK"Josh" cough*

AND In IUD we trust, because of an internal birth control device, it's IMPERATIVE that I get tested. Hell, last Friday on the 13th I got my STD results from my Dr's visit Thursday the 12th, and I'm clean and negative everything.

It DOES NOT MEAN I'll go looking for random guys to splooge in me. I have it in place that after some months of getting to know each other and..."getting to know each other" safely, and proof of negative test results, I may consider.

Like I said, my beliefs aren't yours, and I don't advocate or condone unsafe sex between people you just met, or even folks you do know unless there's a relationship in place whatever it might be of trust, thorough honesty and open communication. I also definitely DON'T condone pressure or coercion to do something like that when you don't want to, either.
Relationship Anarchy and Amy
Posted:Jul 15, 2018 9:03 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2018 4:09 pm
I've been meaning to get around to this, as my FWB asked me about NMRs (non monogamous relationships) and my input on mines and how I navigated it, in particular- "relationship anarchy".

What is relationship anarchy?
Relationship anarchy is a lifestyle, a way of doing personal relationships. Relationship anarchy is a philosophy, specifically a philosophy of love. A relationship anarchist believes that love is abundant and infinite, that all forms of love are equal, that relationships can and should develop organically with no adherence to rules or expectations from outside sources, that two people in any kind of emotionally salient relationship should have the freedom to do whatever they naturally desire both inside their relationship and outside of it with other people.

It was started by Andi Nordgren, a Swedish queer person, developed their own ideas about RA through discussion on a blog they ran during the early 2000s.

How does it differ from other NMRs, particularly polyamory?
Relationship anarchy goes further than polyamory in its departure from the monogamous norm. Relationship anarchy does share with polyamory an overall rejection of sexual and romantic monogamy, its common rejection of legal/institutional marriage, etc, but it also seeks to completely break down what I like to call the Romantic Sex-Based Relationship Hierarchy by erasing relationship categories determined by the presence or absence of sex and/or romance. Relationship anarchy consequently creates equality of all personal/intimate relationships, behaviorally and emotionally. The freedom to interact and value one’s relationships starting with a blank slate, distributing physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc. according to one’s desires rather than preexisting rules and categories of relationship types, is an expression of this equality.

The above image sums it up, even if you could- because it has different meaning for different people. However, in general that's what relationship anarchy is.

How did I get to this philosophy? My Ex; it was through him where I got a basic introduction to non monogamy. Even though in the end, it was more or less a babysitting device for me, while he caroused the music festival circuit I left with a kernel of wisdom. He was the first to tell me that love wasn't finite, that it was infinite and transcendental. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, and I thought the same for awhile until I met "Josh", my lover in an open marriage.

Despite all good intention, it was hierarchical; there was a clear pecking order with him and his wife, and any people they might bring in. Which is fine, but kinda goes against the whole philosophy of non-monogamy. It worked for them, but not for me. Right now, I haven't seen "Josh" in months in the wake of a decent night together. Instead of being angry, I cultivate understanding towards his situation, and wax philosophical, which brings me where I am now.

Maybe to love people is to not put a label on it, to confine it, corral it. Thing is...it's probably something I've been doing all along and didn't know. Case in point, my friend "Dan" from Chicago. The line between us are as blurred and grey as a morning fog. We met 2 years and hooked up some weeks before he graduated and returned home. He was determined to leave me right where I was, and I was fine and accepting- but he kept the lines open. I'm lover, trusted confidant, teacher, wise mother figure but never girlfriend. He loves me and I him, and I told him that's all I could ask for.

It can even translate to family, as I chided my mom earlier today when I brought her back her favorite candy from a dollar store run. She told me I was "the love of her life", I let her know that she had three other daughters. Although agreeing with me, she implied I was her favorite. I told her that there is no hierarchy when it comes to your children. Honestly, that's how fights and dissent happens. She told me she was "just joking", but knowing my mom...

Even with friends, I don't have a designated "best friend". Even though I declared "Darrell" as a "best friend", he's not above anyone else I may befriend. He's a "best friend", just not THE "best friend". I have friends with different degrees of how I love them- with "Darrell", I happen to love him slightly more, but not any more or less if that makes sense?

I don't encourage anyone to think and do as I do, but I do ask that you reexamine what your relationships romantic, familial and platonic may mean to you.
Times when you're "not in the mood"?
Posted:Jul 15, 2018 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2018 7:19 pm

Talking to a guy lately, he's younger than me, so you know kids that age. His grandmother passed away few days ago, and he messaged me today which was her funeral. I don't know, I was a little bit appalled to be honest. I mean, he wasn't at the burial site, but at home waiting to go to the service in an hour but still..

I know he was seeking comfort, and not everyone who messages me wants to discuss sex, but for those who don't get it? When are the times you're not "in the mood"?

Sleepy or just tired in general. Sometimes I browse Free Sex Chat Adult Dating Personals before bedtime, and sure enough as I'm big and black - some random knob assumes that I want to hook up 3 and 4am in the morning. Dude, the sandman has me in a headlock, and you want to get some head? Get bent.

When I'm hungry, and I think that's most people. "You want this dick?" Sure do, fried and smothered in onions if you don't raise the fuck up out of my face.

When my mom is in the hospital; with no prior notice, I can forgive guys because they don't know. But if I tell you, and you still trying to get some? Eat shit and drop dead, trash.

When I'm having intense conversations with friends...go away.

My period, you already know what's up. The first three days, I'm like that scene in Carrie and my uterus is a speed bag. Just. Don't. Do it. Unless you want me to slap you in the face with my soiled maxi pad. I don't know...you piss me off enough...

When I'm stomach sick or common cold sick. WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?

If I'm listening to some music I'm into, or a movie I really wanted to see...well, fuck. Guess you're on your own.

Et tu? When is it not the right time?

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